Wednesday Senses

I am blown away by the wonderful and gifted writers in blog-land. I am a minuscule piece of sand on a vast beach. People are movin' mountains here. People are inspiring. People are speaking His truth and do it so well it's humbling. It can be so intimidating. Keeping a successful blog these days feels big and having a purpose scares the heck out of me. So, I'm just here to journal...without a purpose other than to feed my creative soul, document our moments of real life and maybe make you laugh once in a while with our quirkiness.

I have been tested a lot this past week. With the surprise of additional weeks to our summer break, the calendar stared at us without commitments. I tend to like summer days that have a relaxed approach...late to rise, slow to eat breakfast and ease on into whatever the day presents. However, it is now a proven fact that we cannot approach 14 days in a row like that. Last week motherhood chewed me up and spit me out. I was tested time and time again. Too many days without leaving the house, too many hours of nagging, crying and whining, too many hours of wrestling gone bad, too many hours of electronics and definitely too many hours of my voice snapping at my children. I was maxed out. Totally. So as much as I think I like the long days of summer, clearly we need fine tuning when it comes to large pockets of time.

I am a pain in the @ss to take to restaurants.

I hear B's VBS CD playing again. I'm so sick of the songs but will never be sick of hearing B sing them on the top of his lungs. And he sings with such sincerity--sort of like I do when I belt out Sara Bareilles', Gravity.

I smell quinoa.

I feel creative. B and I are going to paint today and have frozen yogurt for lunch.

I see red fingernails. Wish I could rock red lipstick the way I do red polish. It's not just about finding the right color red, it's about finding courage to rock it.

I see a pile of clothing and items to be packed up for our next camping trip. I love to camp. We camped this past weekend and it reminded me just why I love it. Cooler weather with the lingering question of whether or not it'll rain, firepit conversations, s'mores, starry nights and wearing the smell of campfire like a heavy helmet.

I'm hoping my friend stays strong, vigilent and faithful. I hate watching friends struggle. "I am with you at all times, trust Me in the depths of your being. Peace be with you."


I'm thankful for commitment. I'm thankful for my circle of girlfriends. Solid friendships that have stood the test of time and traveled through over 20 years of life's ups and downs. I received an email from a friend this morning confirming my feelings of solidarity. So thankful and blessed.

I'm trying to find peace in this stage of my vocation. I feel like a lost sheep looking for her Shepherd to guide her. Baaaaah. For over a decade, I have been J's wife,  K, C and B's mom, at home taking care of my family, wiping butts, cooking meals, folding laundry, playing board games and making memories.  The world I controlled and created. The world I love and felt born to do well. So it is peace I seek, not purpose. I have found my purpose.

I'm peaceful with the bonus part of this stage. Having all three kiddos in school full time gives me "permission,"  time to do what I choose and ample time to do so.  Can I get an "amen?"

I've accomplished a peaceful morning with the kiddos, snapped the obligatory first day of school pictures adorned with crisp backpacks, posted them on IG, got the kiddos to school on time, stood with them as they anxiously awaited their teachers arrival, and returned home to a hot cup of coffee and '"Jesus Calling." All that before 9 a.m., I like this.

I knew the moment I woke up I needed to be cheerful and put on a smile.

Today, with intention,  I will be thankful for another day to love and serve my family.